being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE
come closer one second
okay close enough
i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?
that would be me.
do you know what this crown means?
it means i look fucking cute
and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt
now as your fucking queen, i royally declare
that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema
cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.
(Source: heathledgers, via whispythewriter)
the devil wears prada is a lie, i’m literally just wearing a white tee
what i tell myself i will do: im going to do my homework today to get it out of the way :)
what i do: *looks at black metal blogspots in spanish*